


Hakuouki Shenanigans (Drabble Collection)

by Lakerae



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble Collection, Ficlet, Fluff, Gen, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakerae/pseuds/Lakerae
Summary: A collection of drabbles and one-shots of the Hakuouki ensemble. Various canon and AU settings.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. Goodbye, Magic Karp

“Go to the store right now, Sano.” Hijikata’s voice was whisper-soft but the nagging tone was still there.

Harada rubbed his eyes, groaning as he forced himself awake. “At this time, Hijikata? It’s like midnight. No pet store is open right now.”

Hijikata huffed, glaring at the sleepy auburn-haired man. “Then go find a pond and fetch a new goldfish!”

Muttering a curse word under his breath, Harada grabbed a coat and his car keys. “Fine. But if Heisuke finds out before I come back, do not drag me into this mess.”

Hijikata walked into Saito’s room, shaking the peaceful-looking young man. “Hajime, wake up. I need your help.”

Saito sat up quickly. He heard the word “help” from Hijikata’s lips and all the molecules in his body woke up. “Right away, sir.”

Carrying a glass bowl delicately, Hijikata led the purple-haired man into the dark hallway and inside the shared bathroom in the house. Hijikata twitched his lips, pursing them toward the bathroom door. Saito read his body language like an open book, and closed the door behind them as instructed.

“Sir, what are we doing in here?” Saito said softly, a hand covering his mouth. He smacked his lips a few times, tasting the morning breath on his tongue.

Hijikata shoved the bowl in his face, sloshing the water inside it. “It’s dead.”

Saito looked at the orange-yellow fish, eyes widening then drooping down with a frown on his face. “I see,” he sighed, pinching his chin pensively. “Poor Heisuke. He really loved his pet Magic Karp.”

Hijikata nodded slowly, a guilty expression washing over him.

“We should tell him immediately. Or maybe say it evolved into... a dragon?” Saito’s lips tugged up at the ends, amused at his suggestion.

“No. It would truly break his heart if he found out he’s dead.” Hijikata sat the bowl down then leaned in closer to Saito. “No one will ever find out, okay?”

Saito took a step back, fearing the look in Hijikata’s eyes. It was serious, like he was going to commit murder before letting the secret out.

“Noted, sir.”

Hijikata lifted the toilet seat. He used two fingers to grab the floating fish then dropped it inside the porcelain bowl.

Saito reached for the flusher, ready to push down to send Magic Karp down to his grave. Hijikata grabbed his hand before he could flush, shaking his head fervently.

“Not yet.”

“Why, sir?”

“We need to say a few things about Magic Karp. You know, a eulogy.”

Saito raised an eyebrow, confused as ever. But he never questioned Hijikata’s demands, and tonight was no different.

He exhaled a long sigh, gathering his thoughts carefully. “Here floats Magic Karp. He was good to Todo Heisuke, a true friend. Although you never reached your second month birthday, you had lived a happy life... for a goldfish.”

Saito turned to Hijikata, catching the older man wipe his eyes. It was allergy season—a most probable cause to Hijikata’s watery eyes, he thought.

“Sir, it’s your turn.”

Hijikata cleared his throat, taking a few breaths to compose himself. “Good-bye, Magic Karp.” He grabbed the glass bowl and pushed down to flush the fish down the drain with no hesitation. He watched the water swirl inside, making sure Magic Karp would not clog the toilet.

They both sighed as they waited for the water to rise, crystal clear.


	2. A Comedy of Errors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the silly headcanons of our favorite Shinsengumi boys. A parody.

Chizuru woke up on the wrong side of her futon. “Eh?” She wondered, rising up to her feet.

There was a light tap on her door. “Who is it?”

There was awkward silence between her and the visitor, and then the tapping continued, this time louder. “I said, who is it?” A pause again.

The visitor huffed loudly and knocked again, fists pounding the door in a frustrated fashion.

“Oh, good grief, just come in.”

The shoji slid open and red-in-the-face Saito walked inside her room. He sighed and bowed his head toward her, eyes blinking rapidly.

“Saito-san! Why didn’t you answer me?” Chizuru tilted her head to the side, eyes wide with concern.

Saito made no sound, eyes fluttering like he was delivering a secret message. He waved his hand in front of him, motioning the young woman to follow him.

“I don’t understand.”

Saito let out a long exhale, his face reddening out of frustration. He stomped his foot once and pointed outside toward the dining room, eyes blinking like they were talking.

It finally dawned on Chizuru. She slapped her forehead and groaned. “Oh, no! It’s my turn to make breakfast today!” She looked over to Saito and scoffed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Saito stared at her with narrow eyes, sighing deeply. He threw his hands up in the air and beckoned her to follow him.

Chizuru walked quickly toward the kitchen, stumbling a few times before reaching her destination. She ran into Harada and Hijikata, both fuming at her tardiness.

“Woman, you should have been in the kitchen an hour ago,” Harada huffed, slapping her ass like he was scolding a child. “What good are you if you’re not cooking for us hardworking men?”

Chizuru stifled a sob, his words wounding her like sharp knives thrown at her. She looked over to Hijikata, eyes glistening and hoping for a savior.

Hijikata crossed his arms against his chest, a hint of red in his purple eyes. “Chizuru, do your duty and cook.”

She bowed silently, eyes apologizing at him.

Chizuru’s hands were pink, her skin scalded by the miso soup. It was her own fault, really, letting the water boil over the pot a few times.

The dining room erupted in groans and chatter when she walked in. She carried a tray full of bowls and nearly tripped on a stray foot. Before she could fall, large hands grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up off the floor.

“You tiny little thing, be careful.”

She craned her neck and chuckled. “Oh, Shinpachi-san, thank you for saving me.”

Shinpachi roared with laughter, pounded his bare chest and winked at her. “That’s what I’m here for! Saving beautiful women and killing bad guys with my hands.”

Hijikata cleared his throat, silencing the men in the room. “Everyone eat.”

Souji threw a spoon in front of him, earning a few looks from his comrades. “Chizuru, this soup is not spicy enough.”

Chizuru bowed and rushed into the kitchen. She chopped a few peppers up, placing them in a small bowl. She rushed back into the dining room and almost tripped on another foot. “What the…”

Shinpachi steadied her once more, winking at her as she straightened up.

Souji poured the entire bowl of peppers, stirring his soup to mix the flavor in. He took a tentative sip and winced, clicking his tongue in disgust. “More.”

Chizuru rushed back and forth, chopping handfuls of peppers. After her third try, Souji was finally satisfied with the taste.

Meanwhile, Heisuke sulked in the corner of the room. Muttering over and over as he ate his soup. Chizuru felt compelled to join him, hoping to brighten his day.

“Why do you look so sad, Heisuke-kun?”

Heisuke whimpered, lips trembling dramatically. “I’m the most useless person here. I’m a terrible captain and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life.”

Chizuru rolled her eyes, letting out a small sigh. “You are not the most useless one here. That title had been given to me several times already.”

Heisuke stared at her blankly, then let out a loud groan. “Gods! I can’t even be the most useless person here! I’m so pathetic that someone else is more pathetic than me!”

Chizuru gaped, her mind going in circles at trying to figure out what was happening right now. She looked over to Saito, who was silently sipping his tea.

“Saito-san, please tell Heisuke-kun he’s not pathetic.”

The left-handed samurai nodded then turned to Heisuke and blinked rapidly at him. Heisuke continued to cry, clearly inconsolable. Saito turned to Chizuru and shrugged.

“But you didn’t say anything to him…”

Hijikata stood up from his seat and cleared his throat to gain attention. “Everyone, breakfast is over and it’s time to patrol. Chizuru, clean up all of this and do your chores.” “Yeah, Chizuru. It’s a woman’s job to clean up after men,” Harada chimed, flashing his bright smile at her.

“Chizuru, my tongue is numb. The soup was too spicy. You can’t even make miso soup correctly.” Souji frowned, pushing an empty bowl in front of him.

“I will punch each and every one of you if you continue to treat Chizuru harshly. Don’t worry, Chizuru, your savior is here,” Shinpachi shouted, flexing his arms several times.

Heisuke was balled up in the corner, hugging his knees as he rocked back and forth in his seat. “Chizuru is the most useless here. What am I the most of?”

Saito put an arm around Heisuke, sighing deeply. He looked him in the eyes, batting his eyelashes at the younger man. Heisuke buried his head into Saito’s shoulder and continued to sob.

Souji scoffed and sat on the other side of Saito. “Well, now I’m feeling inadequate as well. Chizuru’s uselessness is contagious.” Saito wrapped his other arm around Souji, hugging both captains silently.

“Chizuru, what are you still doing here?” Hijikata barked, his tone monotonous and wooden. “Go do something worthwhile.”

Chizuru bowed at the Vice Commander and left the dining room. She walked toward her room, shaking her head in frustration. “Why is everyone acting strangely today?” She continued to stare at the ground, her feet suddenly tangled, and she fell to the floor.

A small trail of blood trickled down her arm.

“Are you okay?”

Chizuru turned around and stared at a panting Sannan, his eyes wide and chest heaving deeply.

“Your blood… such a waste.”

Chizuru smiled brightly, nursing her injured arm with delight. “I’m perfectly fine, Sannan-san. It’s just a scratch.”

Sannan nodded his head, taking a deep breath in. “Very well, then. Carry on. But do be careful next time.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chizuru bowed her head, and they parted ways, walking in opposite directions.

Not everyone is acting strange, she thought.


	3. Kondo Appreciation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumors of Kondo's incompetence reach him but the day goes on.

_He’s so incompetent._

The man’s voice echoed inside Kondo’s head, replaying over and over like a song. He sipped his green tea, pinching the bridge of his nose as he contemplated the words he overheard the other day.

_He’s unfit to lead._

Kondo took another sip, his heart dropping down to his stomach. The bitterness was strong in this brew, he thought. He took a deep sigh, exhaling slowly, trying to ease his mind.

There was a loud knock on his door, breaking his concentration of watching tea leaves swim in his cup. “Come in,” he said, not lifting his head at all as he sat in his spot.

The door slid open hurriedly. “Sir, some rogue samurais have been spotted in the city,” Heisuke panted, still catching his breaths like he had just sprinted from across town. “Harada and Saito are awaiting instructions, sir.”

Kondo looked up, his demeanor changed instantly as he straightened his back while puffing out his chest. “Gather more men to patrol the streets. Keep your eyes open and watch out for suspicious activity, particularly near the red light district. Be sure to let Sano and Hajime know to keep their distance but don’t let their guard down.”

Heisuke nodded, then left the Commander in his room.

_He only cares about his title._

Kondo continued to sit in his room, slumping as more words entered into his restless mind. Deep down he knew they were meaningless, more trash than truth. But it bothered him and it made him more angry that a common villager could cut him more than any blade he’d ever encounter.

_Hijikata-san should be the Commander._

Kondo slammed his empty cup, cracking the bottom. He winced at the small cut on his finger, licking the droplet of blood immediately. Another knock came at his door, but before he could answer, Hijikata was already letting himself in without permission.

“Sorry for the intrusion, Kat-chan, but I need you to look at these letters that were sent by some officials,” Hijikata said softly. He sat next to Kondo, his jaw tight, his eyebrows furrowed with so much concern. “I’m not sure what to make of this.”

Kondo turned to his Vice Commander, and as soon as they connected their gaze, both their facial muscles relaxed with relief. Although Hijikata remained expressionless, still waiting for him to reply, all Kondo could think of at the moment was smile brightly at him.

_He doesn’t deserve our respect._

The voice faded like a passing breeze, and Kondo felt his heart beating again. A flash of humble farmers in an open field entered his thoughts, and he felt like himself again.

Hijikata cleared his throat, breaking the nostalgia just now. “Sir, I need your input.”

Kondo straightened his back, puffing out his chest as he extended his hand out to Hijikata. “All right, Toshi. Let me take a look.”

The Shinsengumi Headquarters continued on that Tuesday, just like any other day of the week.


	4. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sannan goes back to his old office where ghosts still haunt him.

It had been more than a few years since the last rasetsu had been killed and a lot longer than that since his last experiment.

The village hailed him as a hero when he found the cure for the Ochimizu.

When Sannan stepped back inside his old office—now abandoned and nearly forgotten— the floorboards and walls creaked back to life.

He closed his eyes and a wave of guilt washed over him, and he felt a ghostly hand squeeze his heart.

He sat in the dark—alone—the screams and wails of his victims echoed in the room, reminding him that he was once a monster, too.

The shoji slid open, letting the bright sun rays to enter the world of darkness.

“Sannan-san.” The low familiar voice sighed.

Sannan lifted his head and turned to look at his unexpected visitor. “Hijikata-kun, please close the door,” he said harshly, an arm covering his eyes.

He slid it closed but kept is slightly open, letting a little bit of light to linger inside the room. Hijikata took a few steps, the floorboards whined underneath his feet.

“You can’t keep coming back here, Sannan-san. You can’t keep punishing yourself.” Hijikata continued to walk around, darting his eyes in the room, memories rushing back into his mind. “You can’t change the past.”

Sannan took a long sigh, closing his eyes for a few seconds, letting Hijikata’s words sink into him. “No, I can’t change what happened. But it’s not fair that I’m still alive and they are not.”

“Let’s take a walk.”

It took a minute or two for Sannan to adjust his eyes. They walked side-by-side, a comfortable silence between them.

“This village is beautiful, don’t you agree?” Hijikata glanced over to Sannan, watching his comrade’s soft expression. He commanded their pace, keeping it slow so they both could enjoy the walk together.

Sannan hummed in agreement, keeping his gaze on the ground. He barely looked up, afraid of looking directly at people when they greeted the two former Shinsengumi members. They were civilians now, just normal townsfolk, but those that remembered them still treated them with respect and honor.

A group of children ran past them, weaving in and out between them as they giggled and chased each other. A little girl nearly stumbled in front of Sannan, causing the former Colonel to grab her by the arm.

“Be careful, child,” he said softly, straightening her up on her tiny feet.

“Thank you, sir!” she giggled, bowing quickly then running off to join her friends.

A small smile appeared on his face, and he looked over to a beaming Hijikata.

“Surround yourself with the living, Sannan-san,” Hijikata began, “and you can begin to live your own life again.”

Sannan nodded eagerly. “Thank you for the walk, Hijikata-kun.”


	5. A Good Night's Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heisuke contemplates what lies ahead before tomorrow's battle.

Heisuke’s eyes were wide open. He wasn’t quite sure what made him more uncomfortable: the eerie quietness of the forest or the looming battle awaiting them tomorrow.

Either way, there was no way he could sleep. He shifted in his futon, grunting quietly as tossed and turned trying to find the best position to sleep.

“If you don’t get any rest, you’ll be dead before the sun sets tomorrow,” Shinpachi said, a bit too loud inside the tent.

A few of the men groaned and shushed them.

Heisuke curled into a ball, hugging his knees against his chest. He forced his eyes closed, shutting them tightly.

He wasn’t scared, far from it. He was the youngest captain of the Shinsengumi, a title he wore with pride and honor, and he would gladly risk his life for the sake of duty.

But it bothered him why war had to exist at all. Why any of them had to fight the frontlines for a cause he wasn’t sure was a right one.

He needed to sleep. Needed to rest. His men expected him at top form. He let out a long sigh, willing his body to relax.

It was just any other night, he said to himself. Tonight was not going to be his last night.


	6. Happy Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chizuru is distracted with happy thoughts of all the men in her life. Modern Setting.

Chizuru let out a long sigh. The question was supposed to be easy. All she had to do was give a quick answer and she’d win tickets to a concert.

“Are you ready?” the radio host asked, voice so chirpy it echoed in her ear.

“Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God,” she repeated to herself, delaying the answers.

So many things made her happy.

She knew how lucky she was, finding a group of guys who loved her in their own way.

Hijikata— he was older than her but treated her as equal as any of his male subordinates. Just thinking about him made her feel like a high school girl with a crush. He was protective of her and that made her happy.

Saito—her purple-haired colleague was quiet and reserved, but whenever he opened up to her, they could talk for hours and not notice the time at all. She could listen to him talk about swords and tofu all day and that made her happy.

Souji— the ever sarcastic Souji was someone special to her, even though he constantly made threats to her. He was all bark and no bite, though, and she knew it was his way of flirting with her. He made her laugh all the time and that made her happy.

Heisuke—the young intern had the brightest smile that was so contagious she couldn’t help smile back at him. When she first started the job, he was the first person to make her feel welcomed at the company. He stayed with her during long hours on projects and that made her happy.

Harada and Shinpachi—the two security guards at Shinsengumi Inc. were two peas in pod and to think of either one without the other would almost feel disrespectful to them. They were both so generous, bringing her lunch and stopping at her desk to chat about the latest gossip. Their water cooler chatters were needed distractions and that made her happy.

Kazama—the rich CEO of the rival company ONI Corporation was arrogant and vain. But his persistence and kindness toward her broke down her guarded walls and she felt like a long lost princess around him. His history lessons and pride of his family made her happy.

Chizuru groaned, scrubbing a hand across her face. She held the cell phone closer to her ear, desperately trying to narrow down her answers to five things.

“Oh!!! Time is up, ma’am,” the disc jockey interrupted Chizuru’s train of thought.

“The answer we were looking for was peanuts and milk. Peanuts and milk are the most common allergens in the world. Better luck next time, thank you for calling K-Rock 106!”

Chizuru groaned again, this time dropping her head against the table.

“I got to get my life together,” she muttered to herself.


	7. Happy Things (Souji Version)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old woman casually asks Souji what makes him happy.

Souji barely heard the knock on his door. 

"Come in."

An elderly woman brought him his meal, walking inside his room delicately. She watched the young captain with narrow eyes and Souji looked away from her gaze.

"You may leave now." His tone was dismissive and he didn't care if he slighted the old woman.

"Hmm?" she said with a whisper voice. It was so quiet but it was enough to catch Souji's attention.

"What?"

"What five things make you happy?" She grinned, like she knew her words would engage him.

What an odd thing to ask, Souji wondered. “Five things, eh?” Souji pondered, one hand on the side of his hip.

“Does killing count? Because I very much enjoy killing.” He barked a laugh.

“A good sparring match against Hajime-kun makes me happy, whether I lose or not.”

Souji paced around where he was standing and hummed to himself. “I sometimes indulge in a cup of sake once in a while, so that is something worth noting.”

“I love engaging conversations especially with Chizuru. Her voice soothes me.” A tinge of pink appeared on his cheeks. He cleared his throat, breaking his concentration.

“You know what? I think we’re done here.” He stormed out of his own room, sliding the door shut as he left.

Souji’s footsteps stomped around the engawa. He slid the door open gently, and peeked his head through the entrance.

“I hate it when people don’t answer questions completely,” Souji said softly.

“Kondo-san and the Shinsengumi. They make me happy. Have a good day,” he said, shutting the door one last time.


	8. What's That Red Stuff?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sannan introduces something new to the Shinsengumi.

Heisuke’s eyebrows furrowed, eyes so narrow they nearly closed with so much suspicion.

Sannan was knuckles-deep in dough, his slim fingers kneading the soft, white substance spread across a slab of smooth rock on top of the table.

“That doesn’t look like rice, sir,” Shinpachi chimed, his arms crossed against his toned chest.

Sannan turned his neck slightly, two small dots peeking behind half-lidded gaze toward the confused captain. “This is called ‘dough’,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

He dipped a hand in the bag of flour on the table, grabbed a small amount and sprinkled the powder over the dough.

“Ahh,” a few of the captains gasped. Sannan grinned, amused that the captains were intently watching him. He grabbed a bowl of red curdled liquid near the sink, and stirred the content with a wooden spoon.

“Gods! That better not be what I think it is,” Harada shouted, his face pinched in a panic mode.

“Relax, Sano. This is called ‘marinara sauce’,” he explained, flashing his white teeth behind a smile. “It’s tomato.”

The kitchen echoed with sighs of relief.

“It smells wonderful, sir,” Saito complimented, taking a whiff of air in front of him. He was standing across from Sannan, focused on his every move.

Sannan spread the red sauce on the dough, slowly covering every inch, leaving no white exposed. He walked back near the sink and grabbed a tray of small bowls filled with little ingredients that had already been prepared.

The captains watched him take small pieces from each bowl and sprinkled them on top of the dough. First it was small flakes of white that he called “cheese.” Then he placed circular thin layers of red sausage that he referred to as “pepperoni” and arranged them in a neat and even pattern on top of the dough.

Sannan exhaled with pleasure, wiping his hands on a white cloth wrapped around his waist. “It’s time to bake it.”

Hijikata clicked his tongue, shaking his head furiously. “I don’t like it.”

Sannan looked at the Vice Commander, mouth open in surprise. “Sir, you haven’t tried it yet.”

The other captains watched the two commanders exchange disagreeing looks at each other.

“Did you suddenly forget what you created the last time you experimented with a new recipe?”

“O-O-Ochimizu,” someone coughed in a crowded sea of blue and white haoris. Sannan darted his eyes, catching Souji covering his mouth with a small fist. He wasn’t sure if that voice had belonged to him.

“Hijikata, this isn’t some kind of experiment. It’s a new recipe I read in a book.”

Kondo slapped the young commander on the back, like he was sorry for him. “Yeah, I’m with Hijikata on this one. Saito, do you mind cooking us something tonight?”

Shinpachi and Heisuke laughed, both shrugging and leaving for the door. “If it’s not rice, I don’t want it,” the bigger captain said.

“It’s called ‘pizza,’“ Sannan yelled, as the men scattered out of the kitchen.

He crumbled the raw pizza, his fingers grasped the soft dough, hands covered in red sauce like blood splatter from a murder scene.

A small growl escaped him as he threw away a day’s worth of chopping, mashing, and kneading into a trash bin.


	9. Bakemono

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata and Serizawa disagree on matters at hand.

**_Bakemono:_ **

**_1\. A thing that changes, referring to a state of transformation or shapeshifting._ **

**_2\. Monster._ **

Hijikata pinched his face, a tinge of red reaching the tip of his ears.

“The answer is no,” he huffed, arms crossed against his chest so rigid he might break a rib or two if he pressed hard enough.

Serizawa grinned, lightly chuckling and clearly amused at Hijikata’s breaking calm.

“His patronage pays really well,” Serizawa said, taking a sip of sake. “If we don’t accept his proposal, some other police force will gladly take his money.”

Hijikata was now fuming, glaring at the larger samurai with so much contempt in his eyes.

“We are men of warriors, not scientists,” the Vice Commander retorted, his eyes darting to Sannan—who remained silent during the heated exchange.

Sannan, feeling the pressure from Hijikata, cleared his throat to get the two men’s attention.

“He’s right, you know,” he said softly, lifting his gaze at Hijikata. “If we refuse, Kodo will go to another group and they will do it without question.”

“We need the money, Hijikata,” Kondo interrupted, his face staring at the floor of the meeting room, an invisible dark cloud above his head.

Hijikata shuddered, feeling the shift of power move away and drifting to the shadows that crept within the hearts of his respected commanders.

It was never supposed to be about money, they all knew that when they joined the Shinsengumi.

“What was his crime?” Sannan asked, watching the rogue samurai squirm in his restraints.

“Posing as one of us.”

Sannan sighed, feeling his heart pounding against his chest like a fist fight of disagreement. “Is that even a punishable crime, Serizawa?”

Serizawa scoffed in annoyance. “He either drinks this elixir, or commits seppuku.”

The rogue samurai gasped, eyes glazed with scared tears. “No, no, no. Please, I’ll drink it. I’ll drink it.”

Sannan grabbed the red vial from the cabinet, squeezing it in his hand tightly like he didn’t want to let it go.

He uncorked it and handed it to the shaking prisoner. The man swallowed it in one gulp and exhaled with relief.

Serizawa smiled and patted Sannan on the shoulders as he walked out of his office.

“Don’t expect to learn everything in one night.”

Sannan nodded. He turned to watch the man writhe in agony, body contorting and changing into something unnatural.

He didn’t learn everything about the elixir that night, but he did realize that monsters have always existed.


	10. Freudian Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiranui and Harada have a fight and one snarky slip takes an odd turn.

Harada gripped his spear, his legs and arms locked in an attack stance.

His ears perked at the sound of crunching leaves behind him.

“Maybe you do need this sparring session, Shiranui,” Harada sneered, his grin wide and as bright as the moonlight, “Your heavy-ass footsteps are giving your position away.”

The air was suddenly silent, and Harada’s eyes darted around, searching for a shadow amongst the trees.

“Well played,” Harada complimented, as he heard the cocking of a familiar gun on the side of his head.

“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, _hunk_?” Shiranui recited, his voice confident and on the verge of chuckling–it was not often he bested Harada at their game of hide-and-seek.

Harada nearly choked on his laugh, dropping his spear and bracing himself against his knees to keep himself from laughing on the floor.

“Was that a Freudian slip, huh, dummy?” Harada teased, giving his blue-haired friend a wink.

Shiranui fell silent for a moment, muttering the line over and over again to himself.

His lips grew slowly into a grin until he guffawed, slapping his knee while pointing the gun at Harada (albeit shakily) and clapped back, “Me, the dummy… That was a quote from Clint Eastwood, not Freudian!”


	11. The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After staking out the Shinsengumi Headquarters, Shiranui reports back to Kazama.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Kazama huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I told you to be discreet and you leave them your goddamn shoes.”

Shiranui cackled, head thrown back with so much glee. He tossed Okita’s shoes in front of him, like a pheasant he had just retrieved from a hunting party. “I couldn’t help myself. It was so easy to sneak into their headquarters. Their patrolmen are pathetic.”

Amagiri looked over to Kazama, hoping his master won’t lose his shit over this. Kazama finally lifted his head up, bright red eyes fuming with so much anger behind them. “Did you at least find her room?”

Pacing back and forth like a slick cat, Shiranui stopped and flashed a crooked smile at Kazama. “I did find it,” he said, licking his lips like something juicy coming his way, “and she wasn’t alone. Your sweet Chizuru is not as innocent…”

Kazama hurled the wooden shoes at Shiranui. The gunslinger had quick reflexes, dodging them with ease. Amagiri stood his ground, feet planted like they were nailed to the floor. He covered his mouth with a hand, likely to hide the smile behind it. There weren’t much entertainment in the Oni world, and watching these two fight was enough for his heart’s contentment.

“You lie!” Kazama lunged at Shiranui, his long fingers wrapped around the purple-haired man’s neck. “Take back what you just said.”

Chuckling and gasping at the same time, Shiranui scratched at Kazama’s wrists, loosening his lord’s grip. Kazama tightened for a minute then released him before he turned blue.

Shiranui coughed erratically, almost like he was laughing at the same time. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Geez, Kazama, don’t get your fundoshi in a twist.”

Amagiri was now laughing, unable to keep his stoic demeanor in check. “Both of you calm down now.” His tone chirped like he didn’t mean it. Who could blame him? It was amusing to watch his lordship blow off steam.

“Don’t you fuck it up tomorrow, Kyo.” Kazama adjusted his kimono, straightening the collars. “We’re going to get her out of that place and bring her back home.”


	12. Blue Dart Frog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heisuke questions the Shinsengumi uniform.

_**“One golden dart frog contains enough venom to kill 10 people.”** _

“We’re like sitting ducks,” Heisuke sighed, inspecting the haori he tried on. It was too big, and it encompassed him like he was drowning in a sea of white and sky blue. He would have to work overtime a couple of nights just to pay for the alterations on his new uniform.

“The other forces wear darker colors to blend in at night,” he added, a huff of annoyance escaped with his words.

Yamazaki hummed, giving Heisuke a little nod to indicate that he was listening. He was wearing his light green kimono and black pants, a distinct contrast from his usual black shinobi shozoku.

“Have you heard of the dart frog?” Yamazaki asked a confused Heisuke. Heisuke lifted an eyebrow, shooting him a look that egged the ninja to continue his train of thought. They both knew Yamazaki wasn’t asking a question but was about to give the young captain a lesson in a roundabout way.

“The dart frogs wear the most brilliant and vibrant colors ever seen,” the Shinsengumi spy continued, his tone unusually upbeat. “I’ve never seen one myself, as they are not natives of Japan, but we quickly learn about them in acupuncture school.”

Heisuke continued to listen, his eyes focused on Yamazaki, ready to learn. Heisuke wasn’t one to stay still and listen intently, but the way Yamazaki spoke about these frogs, he was quite intrigued by his comrade.

“These frogs live out in the open, easily spotted by bigger animals and creatures that can eat and kill them in one bite.”

Poor frogs, Heisuke thought. Defenseless little pretty frogs.

“But do you know what is most interesting about these frogs?”

Heisuke’s eyes perked up, the anticipation killing him.

“They’re one of the most deadliest animals on the earth. The brighter the frog, the poisonous that they are.”

Heisuke nodded and smiled at Yamazaki. A sense of understanding washed over him, and although the haori was too big for him, Heisuke wore it with pride that day, like a beautiful dart frog with blue and white skin.


	13. A Haiku for Souji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji steals Hijikata's notebook.

The ink had barely dried. But Souji had been watching the Vice Commander all day, waiting for him to finish writing in his “secret” notebook. He snuck behind Hijikata, grabbing the book before he could put it down.

“What had preoccupied your mind all day, Hijikata-san?” He hummed with delight, perusing the pages with curious fingers.

“Souji, no!” Hijikata reached for his notebook, face beet red because nothing will be sacred anymore. “I’m going to kill you!”

Souji stiff-armed the Vice Commander, keeping a good distance from him. His eyes lit up as he read the new entry.

_Prideful, cold, and sharp_

_Sword of the Shinsengumi_

_The gnat of my soul_

The room brightened with Souji’s laughter. Hijikata was fuming, face so red like his blood boiled through his skin.

“Aw, Hijikata-san, I didn’t know I inspired such beautiful poetry from you.” Souji continued to laugh, finally handing the notebook back to Hijikata.


End file.
